Writer (and Former Acrobat) Allison K. Williams on Overcoming Fear

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We’ve all been there: the drawing where the perspective is laughably off. The dissonance of a sour note when practicing a musical composition. The missed stitch that makes you unravel your knitting project to start again. Anyone with a creative pursuit knows that feeling of failure when what they produce doesn’t meet their expectations.

At Brevity, Allison K. Williams shares how she responds to fear, rejection, and “failure” as an artist — and uses falling at acrobat practice as a beautiful metaphor for dealing with them as a writer.

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And it does get easier. The more I submit, the more likely I am to feel a brief sting and move on, like brushing against the oven door. An hour later, I’ve forgotten. The more I submit, the less any one place feels like my “dream” venue or agent. The more likely I am to think, “Welp, sorry this wasn’t for you — who’s next on the list?”

In order to keep sending out work, I have to love being published more than I love not feeling shitty about rejection. Applying this idea to writers struggling with their own rejections is cold and callous and hurtful. I feel mean when I think it or say it. But it’s also the truth, and it’s a decision we all get to make:

Publication or not getting hurt feelings.

What do you love more?

Read the full post at Brevity.

How do you persevere in the face of failure or rejection?

40 Comments

  1. This is very interesting– I think everyone on a creative field should see failures as a stepping stone for their pursued goals. And never forget why we do what we do.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I keep going when I fail. And I live by this saying. “Don’t ever let anyone tell you, you can’t do SOMETHING because maybe they couldn’t do it.” Failure builds my brain more, and finds ways to overcome it and move ahead.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Everytime I fail, I’ll just smile and convince myself that it’s just a small part of my life. Failures are like the black keys of the piano and success is the white keys. And remember, we need both in order to produce good music. Don’t let that mistake define who you are.

    Liked by 6 people

  7. Failure, and rejection hurt, and it is meant to hurt you. I believe both are horrible feelings. One has to develop leather ears, and stop getting hurt over everyone’s rejection. Don’t copy them. They have no compassion.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. The best advice I ever heard was:
    “Fear is just the stories we tell ourselves, about a future that has not happened yet.”
    We are all writers here! Change the story. You can literally fear anything in this world. Fear often comes from uncertainty. When there are multiple outcomes, that we do not feel we can handle, it creates paralyzing fear. So how do we overcome this self-doubt? Learn coping skills, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, be realistic. Most fears are baseless; most times, even when the worst happens, you will be ok. But, if there is a realistic chance you won’t, prepare to overcome your worst fear first.

    Liked by 14 people

  18. Really liked the responses here …

    “…everyone on a creative field should see failures as a stepping stone…”

    “Failure builds my brain…”

    “Failures are like the black keys of the piano and success is the white keys. And remember, we need both in order to produce good music.”

    “…failure or rejection gives me a story to tell…”

    “Fear is just the stories we tell ourselves, about a future that has not happened yet.”

    “Failure is a word I strive to outsmart.”

    Very inspirational, folks! I have learned in life to see each failure or rejection as an opportunity, and I wish I would have learned that skill earlier. We truly are forged by adversity, and we can come out stronger from the fire or weakened by the flame. In the end, I’ve found out, it is our choice.

    Great linked site, too!

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  21. It’s easier said than done… Failing and getting back at it … that is. I am often too hard on myself sometimes. Other times, I try to motivate myself and remind myself to try again, that I must learn from my mistakes. Not being able to learn from those mistakes though is worse… When you don’t know how or what to improve or it just takes longer.

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  22. Fear is something normal that everybody has felt before.
    I think everytime you try something new or different, you are scared of failing. But if you let fear control you like that, you eventually don’t really have a life and don’t move on. You just stay where you are without moving forward.
    I like how your post reflects on that.

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  24. I like to believe that failure is part of success. Without failure first we can never truly know success. Use failure as motivation and never give up. Fear is the enemy of success.

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  28. Fear is humbling and beautiful at the same time! The thrill of the unknown and possibly reaching another milestone is inspiring.; the thought or realization of rejection pales in comparison. We accept rejection as being “not a good fit” and move on.

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  29. FEAR itself is inevitable. You do have a choice either to face it or run away from it. if you face it, you may conquer it with all the courage you gathered to be even be there to face it. be proud! not all people can do that. On the other hand, if you run away from it – you’re safe for now but you will encounter them again and again UNTIL you learn how to face it. Believe in yourself that YOU CAN DO IT. because no one else can but yourself.

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  30. It’s amazing. I think failure makes you who you are. It just depends if you choose to stand up or just go with the flow.

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  32. “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller

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  35. Hmmm!! I have broken down what many people in this society focus so much upon. Is F.E.A.R. False Evidents Appearing Real. But overall if when conquer fear and take the good with the bad you can overcome anything I believe.

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