Who Are You Writing For? Blogger Val Boyko Looks Beyond the “Like” Button

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We hit the “Publish” button because we want to reach others — but have we lost sight of what connecting with a reader actually means?

In a digital landscape dominated by constant clicks and taps on Like buttons, Val Boyko — a life coach, yoga teacher, and the veteran blogger behind Find Your Middle Ground — wrote a post inviting all of us (but especially new bloggers) to take a deep breath and think about who it is we write for, and why.

I have noticed an interesting phenomenon recently with new bloggers. Perhaps, if you are reading this, then you may have noticed as well. There are flurries of Likes one after another and then a Follow.

Itโ€™s your choice to tally scores, make as many connections as you can, and receive acknowledgement from others. Or, perhaps itโ€™s time to slow down and read, absorb, listen and appreciate the goodness that others have to offer, and explore being in community with other people.

Read more of Val’s insights in her original post.

Do you agree with Val’s observation? What kind of interaction do you find meaningful when publishing a new post? Leave a comment and be part of the conversation.

248 Comments

  1. At the moment I write mainly for myself as I am just starting out but if only one person was able to find hope from my blog then it would be worthwhile. I imagine as more people read my blog that it would be great to form a group of like minded bloggers who share each others posts/ ideas and encouragement. Any feedback as to how to improve or link up with others would be fab.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I appreciate this post and I understand where the writer is coming from. I am like when readers leave a comment because I feel like they actually read and understood the message that I was trying to pass on through my written word based on an experience or some knowledge I think was worth sharing with others. The comments that I get on my post are usually meaningful. I do appreciate likes also and whatever form of interaction I have with others.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I write for me. It is therapeutic for me, but potentially offensive to others.
    If people find my blog I am fine with them reading it but my main point is just to process life in a constructive way – otherwise holding things can become destructive. Negative feedback that is not constructive is my only fear, but I cater that by reminding myself that I am putting it out there for a reason. To show myself that it cannot hurt me anymore. Often secrets loose their power when they are shared. (I am writing my story in parts).

    “Better to write for yourself and have no audience, than for an audience and have no self”
    – Someone smarter than me

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I write because I enjoy writing and I want to share my words with the world. I also like seeing other people enjoy my writing because then it means someone understands me or can relate to what I’m talking about. I also write because I love doing it so much, its almost like breathing to me. I also like writing (especially in a public space like this) to connect with like-minded individuals who might share the same interests with me and to read other posts to see what type of discussions bloggers like to engage in.

    So for me personally, I like writing for a number of reasons. Yes, getting likes and follows on my blog is nice. But even without those, I’d still be continuing to write anyway just knowing at least one person is enjoying what I’ve written and because I enjoy doing it so much.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I have to reach myself first. Anything that happens after that is gravy.

    The sheep doesn’t vomit to show the shepherd how much food s/he’s eaten.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. โ€œThere is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.โ€
    โ€• Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

    We write for other but we first write because we don’t know how not to. For me, I have to write because if I don’t in that moment, things will fall apart. It is the only way to make sense of things. I write because I know no other way. I have just started putting my work on a personal platform (before I had always published else where) and I hope it is relatable to others. This was a very interesting read. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Because I’ve only just started blogging a little around the end of last year, the only people ever reading my work are my close friends and rare strangers that stumble across things. So the type of interactions most meaningful for me are just simple reads. The knowledge of somebody else reading my writings is just so pleasant and great. But of course, likes and shares are a great way of letting me know that they agree, appreciate and support my work. Yet, just like everybody else, I also have to admit that comments are the best kind of interactions. Because it isn’t just a simple number in my stats, but the participation of the reader. The communication and conveying of their thoughts on my writing. And what they think, getting to know my reader’s personalities and opinions. Those are the best kind. Not just simple compliments, but actual discussions on the topic. Those are the best kind of interactions, I think. Not just the superficial increase in numbers and stats.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I began writing for me. I also love to read other Mammy blogs that I can relate to so I decided to share my blogs. I didn’t think that likes where important to me but the first time I received a like and a comment on my blog I was ecstatic. I loved the feeling of been able to relate to someone just threw your writing. For them to read your thoughts and feelings and say “I get it” makes mammyhood feel less lonely!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I’m only new so I haven’t had much interaction with anyone but I think, for me, having a comment means more than a simple like because it does take more than one click of a button to comment. I’m writing for me but when I receive a message saying what I have written has helped someone that means so much to me, as that is why I started sharing my stories.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Well well it is so true. Our objectives must be to touch readers soul in order to bring the best out of them. Being a new blogger i understand that writing contents that touch ones heart and mind which brings a turnaround to people lives is an achievement. And that is what i want to do, i love to do…. be a blessing to others.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I’ve copywritten for blogs, and other text, professionally for years; what I see missing from a few other bloggers is that they lack any call to action. Anything to draw the reader to do anything more than hit the ‘like’ button. To be fair I’m also guilty of this as well, and am working on improving this- through graphics and CTAs.

    Another issue is clear tagging; instead of tagging everything under the sun it makes more sense to target your audience who are likely to a) read what you’ve written b) likely to interact with it. At the end of the day, you’ve got to know who and where you’re hitting with your tags.

    When I do get contact, likes or follows, I do get a buzz of happiness but I try to go out and spread that myself as well. Either looking via WP’s Discover function, or Twitter (@frandobagel), I find other blogs to read and then spread.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I started writing for myself as English was something I always loved. I don’t do it for the likes/follows, but knowing someone has connected with your feelings or a post you worked so hard on is lovely. Even better is people who tell you you encouraged them to write their own or that you helped them do something new.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I absolutely agree, to understand what a blogger is trying to express requires patience. I am awaiting such connections for my potential readers. I feel communication is absolutely important to convey the exact thoughts. Thank you for this post ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I’m a very new blogger. My reason for blogging is make loads and loads of money…. did I say that out loud?? Well of course I’d love to but and it’s a truthful but…. I really needed to find somewhere to put all of my thoughts. My brain just keeps whirring, about all sorts of things: trying to improve the world I live in, the transport situations, sharing ideas, trying to ‘fix’ things, sharing food and gardening ideas, and also a big thing for me is going to be ie yet to be done, is sharing how to look after and bring up your children in this world – back to the basics .. anyhow I will enjoy blogging for myself. I don’t ask anyone if they like it or not now, I just write because I like it – and thanks for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 7 people

  19. Ben,
    First, my apologies! I didn’t mean to prattle out an entire dissertation about this! I’m so very sorry for how long this is! Second, thank you so much for sharing this post from Val Boyko and for you expanding on it.

    I have to agree that it seems as though people are in some sort of contest to see how many likes and follows they can get – egged on I might add by these social media apps themselves with them constantly telling & “rewarding” you for every so many likes/follows! Just today one of the social apps felt the need to shower me with ‘accolades of joy’ just because I’d apparently made “x” amount of friends and a post I’d put up got “x” amount of likes. Seriously?! Who cares?! And it’s happened on all of them lately, this insane logic to in effect pressure us to post yet even more senseless, trivial, self-indulgent, self-absorbed, drivel!

    It’s truly sad to me to see what social media has become as opposed to what it could have been. It could have been used as a way for people to connect, organize, and effect great change. Instead, it’s done the exact opposite. Everyone seems content to sit behind their screen posting, railing, and screaming about all that’s wrong in the world, so long as they don’t have to actually “get involved” with/or do anything to change the problem – oh but they got 120 likes/comments/shares from all the other people and the worst part is they feel theyve actually accomplished something when all they’ve done is just basically “passed the buck”. It’s as if we live in a society of disaffected people who seem content to just sit around and wait for the problems of the world to magically dissappear and/or figure someone else will come along and take care of it. Just so long as they can get back to taking more selfies, and tweet about getting a cup of coffee. To think, we got more done in the late 60’s early 70’s WITHOUT the aid of computers, cellphones, and all the rest of this wonderful technology available today! I mean truly, think about it! It’s pathetic! I’ve tried telling people it’s not enough to sit there and complain, one has to actually take action or they deserve whatever is shoved down their apathetic throats, but to no effect. Oh but don’t worry, when the crap finally does hit that proverbial fan, they’ll be sure to tweet all about it – from their very deservedly apathetic fingertips to the screens of the world. Perhaps I should have posted it………

    I’m constantly being told “Oh you should move your blog and your Classroom to on social media place or another because you’ll get lots of followers there!”. WHAT??!!?? No! To me it’s not about the numbers. It’s about the importance of using social media as an avenue to open a discussion, a dialogue with others, on a worldwide platform at that, about important issues and connecting together on the human level. Even if that means I’m just posting for myself, I’d much rather that, then someone just hitting a like/dislike button, yet not taking the time to say why.

    I run 2 separate sites on WordPress the 1st, which I’m still setting up, was originally a “group” on Facebook and was/will be purely for educational purposes, to expand one’s mind, and to hopefully provoke in others a “mental hunger”, as it were, for the never ending quest knowledge. I only posted and encouraged my members to post items on the sciences – such as Astronomy, Archeology, Anthropology, a LOT of Geology (I have a PhD in Geomorphology specializing in Volcanology), Organic Chemistry etc, mathematics, history, technology, and art history in the form of articles, videos, and podcasts. The goal was to get people invested in broadening their minds through open discussion and a sharing of views from people around the world. And to begin with that’s what we had. I had fantastic response and what started as global classroom of around 16 members, many with degrees in a variety of fields, sharing their own knowledge and expertise turned into a Classroom of over 150 people – all saying constantly how much they loved coming there, loved learning new thing etc – except all they were doing is hitting a like button. Gone were the commentary and discussions. I posted several times stating if all people wanted to do was hit an emoji button then there was no point in me spending several hours each day finding, fact checking, and posting items if no one was going to TALK about them, told them I’m glad they liked/disliked the post but why? That as a group dedicated to learning, and it’s hard to accomplish that if you’re not going to say anything! Until finally, I said forget it and shut it down. Nearly everyone texted or emailed asking why. The funny part about that is every single one of them had hit the like button the 10 times I posted about getting involved or I was going to shut it down. Now, I realize this is a rather lengthy answer, but hopefully it explains why I agree. I moved the Classroom here and once it’s up, even if it’s just one person who follows, as long as they’re invested in the purpose of it that’s just fine for me lol.

    My second site here is a “blog” and is just filled with my personal attempts at creative writing. Here again, actually especially “here”, I’m not really concerned with how many people follow me (and to be honest I was surprised when someone did!), as I find it quite hard to share as it is, so to FINALLY (OMG I’m so very sorry!) answer the question of:
    “Who am I really posting for?”
    I would have to say myself first and if by chance I write something that brings meaning to someone else that’s awesome, but it’s not my main goal – with the exception of one post “Shame” as it has a very specific message meant to be heard (it’s a video post) – simply not into trying to see how many people can/do follow/like my writing as much as knowing that occasionally one other person took meaning or comfort from my words – which is always nice to hear as is constructive criticism!

    Again, apologies for the length of this! And please, to all, take no offense at my ramblings, they’re not meant to offend anyone AT ALL! Just my thoughts on this is all lol. Lady Anne ^^รถ^^

    Liked by 5 people

  20. I agree. As a new blogger, I started doing this as a way to practice my creative writing skills. All the writing I do now is mostly academic writing. I am also using it as an outlet for living abroad, to share my journey, my lifestyle, and the struggles. As soon as I started blogging, so many of my other blog friends were telling me I need to be on Reader more often and liking and following other blogs constantly. This seemed very overwhelming to me as a new blogger plus the added stress of trying to post consistently. I think it is very important to be patient. Just like anything else, it is going to take time! Don’t just LIKE, LIKE, LIKE, FOLLOW, FOLLOW, FOLLOW. Take the time to figure out your audience, what you really want to put out there. And also taking the time to read other blogs, and Reading more than one or two posts on that specific blog.

    Liked by 8 people

  23. i agree with the aspect of having an audience that appreciate a person’s posts, but i think some people post blogs for an expression of talent/ideas/informative reasons and don’t have the opportunity to share with others, and i think it’s a great platform to do it on. Thanks for the post.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. I agree, I was recently reading “Deep Work” which touched on the subject, and made a very good observation where on Social media today, we seem to say “I’ll only follow you, if you follow me” where everyone is looking to be paid attention to, instead of seeking something greater.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. As a newbie I started blogging to share my experiences and also reach out to others. Inasmuch as it gives me a feeling of relief to just pen my thoughts and emotions down without looking over my shoulder, I still feel really disappointed when I post something and receive no feedback. It almost feels like my work isn’t good enough or nobody took the time to at least scan through the post. Thanks for this piece Val….might have to make a few changes soon

    Liked by 2 people

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